Friday, February 27, 2009

Movie Quotes: What they can teach YOU!

“Tomorrow is Another Day”
Thank you Scarlet you did seem to know how to survive through war and 3 husbands. Even when Rhett did leave you, you helped us all to realize we don’t need to dwell in the past, just move on. He left you that big house, rebuilt Terra…you will be fine! Oh, you also helped us to realize the importance of procrastination.

“The Force Will Be With You, Always”
Old Obi-Wan Kenobi you were such a great Jedi master. You taught us that no matter what is happening in our lives, if we look deep inside our soul and if we stay true to the Jedi way we can kill funny breathing dudes in masks with real light sabers (insert light saber noise here)

“Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain”
Even if the Wizard did hide behind a fake curtain, we won’t hold it against him. He taught us that we don’t need to put up walls around us, even if we are a little insecure. Although, he did incorrectly make us think that by clicking our heels 3 times we could be home with Auntie Em.

” I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse”
The Godfather is a fabulous piece of Cinematic History. It makes me long for the days when women were “Dames” and there were “Speak Easy’s.” I digress… This movie helped us to realize that even if you marry money, your hubby might end up being a secret mobster, and that is okay, just spend his money till he goes to jail, act dumb to the FED’s, and always stay on “The Family’s” good side and you will be fine.

“I’m Captain Jack Sparrow”
Yes you are honey and you help us to realize that if our men would wear black eyeliner and dreadlocks we’d go to Davy Jones’ locker to get them back too. Though living in your time we would all be “wenches” and that isn’t as cool as a “dame.”

“Bond, James Bond”
This was an easy transition from Captain Jack, and honey we all know who you are. And our current “James” is Daniel Craig. I don’t usually go for blondes but Mc-Blondie; you have taught us the importance of a good body when deciding to wear a Speedo. All of the James Bond men have also reiterated the fact that men may act humble about saving the world, but they just want to get you into bed, but I wouldn’t mind that one bit now….heard that!

“I’ll Be Back”
Gov Schwarzenegger, you have taught us that even if we feel like a miss-understood post-apocalyptic robot, we can become Governor of California too! The sky is the limit!

“Life's a box of chocolates Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get.”
Thank you Forest Gump for giving us this quote. This helped us realize to read the outside of our chocolate boxes to make sure it is indeed chocolate and not fruit.

“Just Keep Swimming”
Oh I do love me some Dorry the dysfunctional fish! This quote is something that everyone needs to say in the mirror each day. Just keep swimming through life and you too could make it to Australia via some gnarly turtles!

And finally!

“Toga, Toga, Toga”
The great members of Delta House taught us so many life lessons. They taught us the importance of themed parties, Jack Daniels, parades and the true meaning of “Shout”

Hope these quotes inspired you as much as they do me!

Until Next Time
Hugs & Kisses,
Sister Belle

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

“Crazy is just sane on a lunch break”

Sometimes I wonder if everyone around seems sane, does that make me the crazy one? Then I realize that none of us are completely mentally stable. We may seem normal most of the time, then a situation comes up and we lose it. Take my craziness who just deleted her ex boyfriend’s pic off of the Facebook just so he would notice!

So here are the points at which you know “sane” is on lunch break:

  • Next we will go to something that every girl does, the “Drive-By.” This is when we know our man is up to no good and we drive-by where we think they are. We might not see a thing, and then we might see a truck and need to leave a lovely note explaining how we were right and they should jump off a cliff.
  • You will change your status on the Facebook just to see if they notice! He might notice but most likely didn’t think anything of it.
  • You add photos of us having so much fun sans their suckiness! If he didn’t care about pictures of you with other guys when y’all were together, he isn’t going to now!
  • You keep their number in your phone just incase they decide to call you, so you “won’t pick up.” Delete it! After a month he most likely isn’t going to call
  • You talk to their family or friends to see “how he is doing.” He is “making it” I’m sure. If he was that upset he would have fought to keep you more.
  • You call the boy just to tell him how you “hate him” and “you never want to speak to him again” NICE MISS OBVIOUS!

Now the above examples can be worked through and know we have all been there and support you through each crazy moment.

Then there is the crazy girl who you need to STAY AWAY FROM:

  • When a girl seems to have NO FRIENDS ….no one to tell her that her fiancé is cheating on her and really can’t stand her!
  • The girl who decides that by showing up at your house it means that she is welcome and can go out with your friends.
  • The girl who seems to have a heavy drug use problem, and chews out your friends in the bathroom of a wedding
  • The girl who thinks that you are listening to her and she is really talking to herself…..”is she talking to you or me….i don’t know”
  • The girl who goes out and drinks so much when she is in public that the ambulance is on stand-by….oh and she is louder than ME and I didn’t know that was possible!
  • The poor unfortunate girl who has the reputation of Jenna Jamison (well Jenna’s is better) and she thinks that everyone loves her….sorry no one wants to touch you after the entire MS State football team ran a train on ya, SWEETIE!
  • And my favorite recent story….If the girl brings a guy cookies, expecting something more and when nothing happens breaks into his house and TAKES THE COOKIES BACK!!

Here's to you crazy psycho girls of the world,
thanks to you we all look a little more sane!

Until Next Time,
Hugs & Kisses Y’all
Sister Belle

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's Crawfish Season Y'all!

There is nothing that compares to a warm summer night in the south, when the beer is cold, music loud….and the crawfish are boiling! I think we plan our weekends around those little craw-dabbers. One of our favorite local hot spots is the Crawdad Hole on Lakeland Drive, by Smith-Wills Stadium. It looks like a run down shack, but its walls are put together with pieces of history and pictures of friends. For a few bucks you can get a big bowl full of some good mud-bugs, but if you aren’t a fan…they also serve fresh boiled shrimp. I also love their potatoes and corn. On the weekends, they bring in local bands to rock you through the night. Every year around April, they have the Crawdad Hole Music Festival, a day full of music and fun in the sun.

The weekend of March 14th, you will find my crew and I at Shuckers on the Rez. It is their annual Crawfish boil, with fresh crawdads by none other than the Crawdad Hole. They set up big tents and picnic tables and everyone fills up on food and beer. This is a great place to run into everyone from leather wearing, Harley ridin’ biker crews to polo’d out frat boys. We don’t care who ya are as long as you dance! The bands this year include some of my favorites. On Saturday from 7-11 a wonderful band straight from the Bid Easy called MoJeaux will be rocking the house. We first heard this band last year and instantly fell in love with their incredible talent for both singing and rapping. They will be followed by The Chill, covering all of the classics! On Sunday, local favorites Will & Linda will start the day followed by The Pates, Snazz and then the Tip Tops, who look super fun! Come early to get a parking place! Look for me down front with my Barnett Bend Queens….

Hugs & Kisses
Until Next Time
Sister Belle

Monday, February 16, 2009

Put It Back On

My sister said, that when she finally finds the redneck of her dreams, she is going to have his ring engraved with “Put It Back On,” just in case he feels the need to remove the symbol of his eternal servitude to Queen Lindsey. I know my little sister is brilliant and this might be the best marital advice she could give future brides.

Case in point: A year ago some of my Barnett Bend Queens and I were out at the local Karaoke hot spot, McB’s, and we ran into a group of Farm Bureau agents, in town for training. We hung out with these guys for a while that night and noticed that they either had on wedding bands, or had the nice white ring where one usually resides. Whether or not they had a visible gold circle, this did not stop them from picking out a young hot thing and flirting insatiably all night. My particular man, we will call him the River Rat, was married with kids. He was from Vicksburg, in town for 1 night and wanted nothing more than to take me back to his hotel. I politely told him NO and that I was engaged, hoping that would deter him. I was not engaged, but dating someone who I thought I would marry. He tried to get my number and a kiss goodnight. I left that night not thinking we would ever see them again, and we didn’t….UNTIL last Thursday night.

We had a Queenly Birthday bash at McB’s and the same group of Farm Bureau agents came in. I realized that there was a hole being burned into my face by none other than the RIVER RAT. I avoided eye contact until he walked up to me and grabbed me to dance. I found out that my loving sister had informed him was SINGLE. I don’t even remember this guys name! He said that he wanted to take me out when they came back in March, I once again said NO, but this time he told me he was divorced. I don’t know if he really was, but the indention on his hand was still there, so if it were true it has not been very long. And I then politely ran out the door.

I don’t understand how a single guy can have no game, but when they get married girls flock! That is not my cup of tea…One of River Rat’s friends even said “How do you always get the prettiest girls in the bar?” This means that I am not the first and won’t be the last that this horn dog has tried to take home.

So the moral of today’s story kids….When you see a guy the first thing you need to notice is the ole left hand to see if there is a ring, or a ghost of a ring. You are fabulous and there are plenty of fish in the sea, no need in testing your bait in someone else’s pond!

Until Next Time,
Hugs & Kisses Y’all
Sister Belle

Monday, February 9, 2009

Yes Blush & Bashful are both PINK, but it’s your day Shelby

It is spring time in Mississippi and that means it is time for WEDDINGS! So it is time for someone to discuss the do’s and don’ts……So why not me? What is my reasoning? I worked at a bridal shop for nearly a year, and I am about to be involved in my 10th wedding. I have been a bridesmaid, reader & director. So here are a few things I have learned over the years.

Finding the groom……”Is he one of the Clarksdale Clark’s?”
All of us Mississippi girls want a man who loves us, loves his mamma, and loves the outdoors, whether it’s hunting, fishing or mud riding. For some reason going to college at Mississippi State, I realized that all of the girls wanted Delta Boys. That includes the towns of Clarksdale, Greenwood, and Greenville etc. These guys drove big drugs, had lots of land, and could buy big rings. When I moved back down to Jackson, I found out that there are plenty of guys who might not be FROM the Delta but do fit the criteria for a good husband……most are good old southern boys with good old southern values: “you either shoot it, stuff it or marry it.”

April showers bring May flowers and May Flowers bring BIG BUGS….
No offense to all of the June brides, but it is so hot in Mississippi in June. I know that a true Southern Belle does not “perspire,” but in May, June and July we “glisten” like you have never seen. When we are in long dresses standing in the sun for pictures, our make-up and hair MELT. Once you set a date, the fun begins. First you must decide on a venue. If you don’t want to get married in a church, it really doesn’t matter. Find a place where you feel comfortable and you know that those who work there will successfully pull off your wedding, even if the air goes out. If you choose a venue out of your home town, make sure it is affordable for everyone!

Date check, Venue check….wedding party…..?
When you are thinking of bridesmaid’s, you don’t have to have your 2 slutty cousins from Georgia, and you don’t have to have every bride who had you in their wedding. Have your best friends stand with you, because these are the girls who are there for better or worse. There is nothing more embarrassing when you are in a wedding and you have to introduce yourself to the groom, because y’all have never met. Time to get the girls dressed now. Don’t take your size 2 BFF to try on a dress that a girl w/ big boobs is supposed to fit in. I know that all of the Yankee wedding planners say “let the girls pick out the dress they want, the color they want, as long as they are comfortable.” HELL NO This is your day and you can make them wear what YOU want in the color YOU want.. I have worn pink, black, purple, blue….as long as it’s not white you are good.

The wedding…...Remember his name, and the ring and you will be fine
You have survived all of the pre-wedding festivities and you are ready your the “big day.” Start early, spending the day talking about crazy stories from your single days will help chill you out. DON’T get a massage or facial, and for heaven’s sake don’t get SPRAY TANNED, you don’t want to end up the color of a brick or have a reaction to chemicals. Get to the church early, get your hair and make-up done so you look like the angel you are, and if you sweat it won’t melt off. Make sure that one of your mama’s friends brings bottled water, finger sandwiches, and peppermints, otherwise known as the “White Party.” It is okay to have a toddy, but make sure that the groomsmen are sober enough not to run out of the church to throw up during your vows (true story). And for heaven’s sake, DO NOT smoke in your wedding dress.... take the darn thing off first….you can remove make-up, red wine, but not cigarette burns! Make sure you have your something old, borrowed, blue and a penny for your shoe (just for good luck). If you are going to cry get your grandmother’s hanky, don’t use a wad of paper towels from the bathroom.

Walk down the isle, said I do, and go party with your friends.
You have been planning this day, well since you were 5, and now you are Mrs. Charming and it is time to let loose. Drink, eat, and dance. Smile and thank everyone for the well wishes, and be lovely! Everyone is there to see you and Mr. Charming, love the moment….you are number 1. You have starved yourself for a year, pig out. Have food for everyone, if you want Krystal burgers, do it….don’t have food that no one will eat. Drink in moderation; no one wants a bride who falls on the dance floor. Keep an eye on your wedding party, make sure they don’t steel your limo and take it to the bar!

I hope that this helps my Southern Brides a little. I think I would write a book on the Do’s and Don’ts of a wedding. If you want a laugh, I suggest Someone Is Going to Die If Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet, by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hayes, it will change your life.

Until Next Time,
Hugs & Kisses Y’all
Sister Belle

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Why can’t we earn our MRS. Degree from a Bar?

Our moms have raised us to believe that we will never meet the man of our dreams at a bar. I believe that this is not necessarily true. When you are at church, no offense, but you put on a façade so that people won’t be able to know that the reason they know you is because y’all took shots at EC together last night. And if that is true then you have seen each other in your natural uninhibited form.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know that Emily Post strongly frowns on one night stands, and I'm not saying go down that road, but you can turn on that Southern Belle charm and he might see the real you and perk his ears up. If he lasts past the first “meeting” then church could be in his future, we like that about a Southern Gentleman.

There is a problem though if you end up hitting it off and you discover that he knows all of the bartender/bouncers/shot hoochies at every bar in town. If this is the case RUN before it is too late.

In a bar you can also see how he acts in public around HIS friends. You don’t want someone who picks fights when his buddies are around, because he tends to get tanked every time he drinks. I had a problem with a guy who would get totally drunk, so I thought, and tell me how drunk he was and how drunk everyone else was……NO! And then he would laugh loudly and well that had to end, sorry Peter Griffin.

Moral of the story, it is great to meet people in Church, I love Church, but get them into a situation where both of you are comfortable and see what happens. It doesn’t have to be a drunk fest, but a bar for drinks can teach you a lot (and sometimes it takes a while to see that, but we live and learn)

Some people may think I am being a bad girl and condoning behavior that I shouldn't but it is how Sister Belle is feeling today.

Until Next Time,
Hugs & Kisses Y’all
Sister Belle

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

“If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

I know it’s another movie reference blog, but this too is important staple in any Belle’s life, Steel Magnolias. We were raised in church being taught the ethic of reciprocity, the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” and “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well I know that gossip can be harmful, but I am a firm believer that it is not GOSSIP if it is TRUE. If in fact you are being truthful, then all of your opinions on the matter are just conversation amongst friends. Don’t you agree? I love the quote by Clairee in Steel Magnolias “If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.” Not that I love bashing my friends, but I love hearing about other people. Maybe it’s because my life is boring, maybe it’s because it makes me feel better about myself, or maybe the elastic is shot in my pantyhose? Whatever the reasoning, something that is innate in all humans, us Southerners just have taken and ran with.

Now, southern gossip can be detrimental to one’s reputation. One flapping tongue in Jackson, MS can pick up the phone and tell Lilly Beth that Sue Ellen’s husband is sleeping with the babysitter and she can eat a pound cake in under a minute, and the phone tree begins! All said, don’t spread gossip, true or not, if it could ruin someone’s life that just is very unbecoming of a Belle…..well unless another “Belle” is sleeping with your husband or your best friends husband…..then all bets are off.

And no matter what always remember…
· “I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence.”
· “I love ya more than my luggage
· ”The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”
· “I worship the quicksand you walk on”
· “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”
· “There is no such thing as natural beauty”

And most importantly…..
Smile! It increases your face value

I may not be the Poet Laureate of Dogwood Lane but I guess Stockton Place will have to do……

Until next time,
Hugs and Kisses Y’all

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I may not be Scarlet O’Hara, but who is?

My sister has convinced me to start blogging… lets see what happens…..

Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler, flitted around Georgia in her big skirts breaking hearts and back-talking everyone. She was bitchy, and knew how to go right to the edge of indecency and not cross. She knew how important her traditions were, and how strong a Southern lady could be when the moment arose. This is something that has been instilled into each “mini-belle” from the day we were born. The times might have moved forward, but our mothers and grandmothers still beat manners in our brains. We may be years past Scarlet, but in many ways there is a little Scarlet in each of us.

I have a group of girls who are tougher than Scarlet. We will kick “Rhett” to the curb if he talks bad about our mamma, daddy, sista, or the dog, all the while cleaning the house, bathing the kids, and swattin the flies. We aren’t afraid to sweat to get what we want, and we won’t settle for anything less than we deserve. We may not wear hoop skirts and bonnets, but we always carry ourselves with charm and genteelness. Scarlet new how to bat her eyes and make men swoon……we still do that, just with a little more eye-liner.

If Scarlet lived in this time, she wouldn’t know quite what to do with us, I do believe. We are single, married, divorce, raising children, wanting children and never settling for A-A-Ashley, when our prince charming could be right down the road ready to come in on his white pick-up truck to save the day!

To all of my non-Scarlet’s, never forget these tips to live by:
· Never wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day UNLESS you are the bride
· Thank You Notes are a necessary component of being gracious and appreciative
· Never chew gum in Church or smoke in the street
· Never show anger in public, smile and act like a lady, walk off and talk about how skanky that girl was for pickin on you
· Act helpless and confused when it is to your advantage, never let on how clever and capable you are.
· “Flirting is a woman's trade. One must keep in practice,”
· No man is worth a black eye, remember we are just a phone call away and will come and kill him

Until next time,
Hugs and Kisses Y’all